Advice from Annemarie Juhlian on writing your wedding vows. When it comes time to write your wedding vows, this can be a very daunting task. I hope Annemarie’s advice will put you at ease and comfort knowing that there are no rules these days. Wedding couples are really taking the time to create and personalize their vows, have fun! Truly make it your day to celebrate each other!
Annemarie Juhlian, Wedding Celebrant & Officiant
In this work that I do, I get lots of questions and lots of “angst” from engaged couples about their wedding vows – whether the ceremony is traditional, contemporary or “out there.” I thought my perspective below on wedding vows might be helpful to the brides/grooms – the keyword “wedding vows” is also one of the most searched keywords within the “wedding world.”
Wedding Vows – a little personal perspective.
Personal wedding vows – written together by a couple together before a wedding ceremony or saved as a surprise for the wedding ceremony – are often the heart and soul of a wedding ceremony. Wedding vows are so much more than “I promise this until the end of time,” and “I will always do this and never do that.” Vows between a loving couple are more about their love, respect and appreciation for each other, what they promise to bring to their marriage, what they can expect from each other and perhaps something that they want to share about their Sweetheart publicly with their family and friends. In some ways, vows can be a mini-love letter.
Wedding vows are a very personal statement between two people. Vows are also a public statement of love, commitment and respect. It’s a gentle and delicate dance to craft a set of vows – similar or different – that truly celebrate a couple’s relationship and at the same time are publicly respectful and inclusive so family and friends feel they have a tiny peak into their loving relationship.
So my best advice, having witnessed hundreds of vows exchanged?
1) Go to lunch. Discuss your vows and get on the same page. Talk to your partner about what’s possible and what’s comfortable for your wedding day.
2) Take your time. Don’t wait until the 11th hour to write your vows. Start weeks if not a month or two before.
3) This is not about performance. This isn’t about doing it “right.” It’s about doing what’s right for you.
4) Create an outline/find your voice and craft your message. Go to the internet for inspiration. Read your vows aloud and time them.
5) Save the very intimate words. Surprise your new husband/wife with ‘private vows” on your wedding night or the next day.
6) And most of all, elegant humor is good, good and good!